Yes. A mitten fetish.

January 12, 2014 § Leave a comment

I sat down with the other students, feeling excited but also having this absolute sense of unknowing. How would Rachel unravel this dense topic of writing erotica? Without telling you too much (because I hope one day you’ll sit in her class and feel that sense of wonder too) I will say you can literally feel her passion for writing sex and this makes her so fun to learn with. In less than 2 hours time she inspired me to write erotic stories of…

  • a BDSM piano lesson
  • how to masturbate with a banana peel
  • a mitten fetish
  • a Pear of Anguish Steel Locking Anal Plug
  • a strip club dressing room
  • a gay leather bar
  • explicit details of what it is to have a deep oral fixation

I have already written and published a good share of erotica in my lifetime but never the less – this class was very inspiring.  Rachel’s prompts and exercises has my mind all lit up! The stories unfolded faster than my hands could write. I left feeling motivated, with a notebook full of ideas. And on top of all that, it was really cool to write without the isolation that so often comes with being a writer.

If you have a desire to write a story for your Valentine, to be published or to expand your creative mind in any way – go! You will not regret it. The workshop was called Writing Erotica for Pleasure & Money. She is presenting the class again on Friday, January 17th at the New York Academy of Sex Education.

And who knows where your erotica writing may take you? Watch this mini-documentary (circa 2003) to see where it has taken me!

Ducky On Demand (Classes now available online!)

January 8, 2014 § 11 Comments

I am so excited to announce that my workshops are being made available on demand, online! Bit by bit they are being filmed, edited and posted in snippets that are available on PassionateU. We have shot my presentations on female orgasms, guy’s bodies and my presentation on how to create sparks in your relationships and raise your sex drive. Click the images below to watch!

So far you can see:


  • Girl Gasms: The Female Hard-On <–JUST ADDED
  • Girl Gasms: When Your Clit is Not It <–JUST ADDED
  • Girl Gasms: Clit & Vulva <–JUST ADDED
  • Girl Gasms: How Do I Know if I’ve Had an Orgasm?  <–JUST ADDED
  • Girl Gasms: Lingustics

ducky passionU

  • How to Please your Man: Deep Throat  <–JUST ADDED
  • How to Please Your Man: Positions for Oral Play
  • How to Please Your Man: Hand Job Techniques
  • How to Please Your Man: Suck Cock Like a Porn Star
  • How to Please Your Man: Give Him the Shaft
  • How to Please Your Man: Speed Up His Orgasm
  • How to Please Your Man: Slow Down His Orgasm
  • How to Please Your Man: What About the Balls?
  • How to Please Your Man: When Your Guy is Butt-Shy
  • How to Please Your Man: Body Hair & Cleanliness
  • How to Please Your Man: Flavored Lubricants
  • How to Please Your Man: STI’s & Oral Sex

Tantus Sex Education Training Series for Sex Educators, Bloggers & Sex Toys Sales Peeps

January 6, 2014 § 2 Comments


This is why I have three free online classes for sex educators, sex toy bloggers and for people who work in sex shops or sell online. If that’s you, please join me!

begballgagTantus Toys 2.0

A presentation based on the top selling products in the Tantus toy line, including information on: C-rings, female orgasms, mouth gags & fantasy, butt sex safety, and sex & unwanted pain. Each session is 45 minutes long, delivered live online and followed by a Q&A session. Take the AM or the PM session.

  • JAN 9th | AM Session | 10am (EST) 9am (CST) 8am (MST) 7am (PST) Spots are limited. Click here to RSVP.
  • JAN 9th | PM Session | 7pm (EST) 6pm (CST) 5pm (MST) 4pm (PST) Spots are limited. Click here to RSVP.

panty-playTantus Toys 3.0

A presentation based on what Ducky calls the “unsung heroes” of the Tantus toy line, including information on: having bigger, more badass orgasms, prostate play, double penetration, sleeves, suction and the power of spontaneity. Take the AM or the PM session.

  • Mar 3rd | AM Session | 10am (EST) 9am (CST) 8am (MST) 7am (PST) Spots are limited. Click here to RSVP.
  • Mar 3rd | PM Session | 7pm (EST) 6pm (CST) 5pm (MST) 4pm (PST) Spots are limited. THIS SESSION IS FULL.

tantus tsunami siliconeTantus Toys 1.0

A presentation based on the newest products in the Tantus toy line, including information on: G-spotting, harnesses, does size matter, spanking, and butt sex basics. Take the AM or the PM session.

  • MAR 12th | AM Session | 10am (EST) 9am (CST) 8am (MST) 7am (PST) Spots are limited. Click here to RSVP.
  • MAR 12th | PM Session | 7pm (EST) 6pm (CST) 5pm (MST) 4pm (PST) Spots are limited. Click here to RSVP.


7 Things You Might Learn About Sex Toys

January 5, 2014 § 1 Comment

My friend and fellow Sex Educator Kate McCombs popped in on a training I did this week on sex toys. The she wrote the awesome piece about the experience. Read it here.


(Photo of silicone toys at Early to Bed. This shop is so cute that even the floor has glitter embedded into it. If you are in Chicago go see it!)

I Am Smitten for Hands

January 2, 2014 § Leave a comment

Hands are such stunning sexual tools. There are just so many ways they can be used on the body. One of my favorite ways is to simply set your hand on your lover and hold it there. Hold their vulva, their penis, their breast. Sit quietly and let their body begin to thump under your touch. Don’t move, tickle or stroke. Just hold them and let them breath. Hold them until they wiggle and ask for more. And them hold them just a bit longer to inspire feelings of playful anticipation. It’s such a simple technique that has such possibility.


This post is inspired by a very touching letter I just received from a woman who is so beautifully conscious and growing in her sexuality. I asked if I could share it because I think there is much to learn from her. She generously said yes.


I attended your Girl Gasms class at Seattle’s Wild at Heart this past year, and I wanted to thank you in particular for the tip on simply holding my hand over my vulva to bring the blood and heat up. I’ve incorporated that into my masturbation with nice results.

I’ve attempted to add it into partner-sex, but have noticed that my recent partners (i.e., exes) have been admittedly too impatient to provide me with such stimulation. Last week I requested it during a session with a body worker and made a fundamental realization: the first thing I should be asking for in any sex negotiation – after safer sex standards, perhaps – is time. It was initially weird and awkward for me to just lie there while someone hovered patiently above me with their gloved hand on my cunt. I found that when we made eye contact, we’d both break into these goofy grins. I initially tried to fill the quiet with talk of my observations, but realized that the session was about keeping me in headspace, so I worked on receiving without trying to cater to – by way of second-guessing – my partner as much.

At the point where I accepted that I had plenty of time to relax and enjoy, I found that negotiation for adjustments became much easier. I wasn’t frustrated if he didn’t get it immediately, because explaining wasn’t cutting into what I considered to be a very finite amount of time to get it right before I catered to him. The more clearly and smoothly I could explain, the more I got what I wanted.

It’s all very simple, but this solution has been overshadowed by the fact that I’ve spent the last 25 years reacting to selfish partners who had their own agenda – either them directly or overlaying the memory of them onto the few good lovers I had. I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the past five years, so the temptation to kick myself or others for lost pleasure is diminished. Now I look forward to my sensual future.

Taking your class and practicing some of what I learned from it has brought me to this point, and I appreciate you making a career out of sharing what you’ve learned.

Love hands too? You might also enjoy: Stroke That: how to Rub Her the Right Way and Help! I Need Some Fool Proof Hand Job Techniques!

Sex Shops I Know & Love: She Bop in Portland

September 26, 2013 § Leave a comment



Oh Portland, how I love you. Quirky, self deprecating, bicycling, zine making bundle of goodness! This spring I had one more reason to fall in love with you… She Bop!

This little sex shop is an awesome source of carefully selected sex toys, books and workshops. She Bop is a place where you can ask an honest question, be treated with respect, take a cute date to and find the things that make you spring! They are located down a little street, just off North Mississippi Avenue. Oh and no other shop I know has a section called BOOBS! I love them.

Last time I was there I found good beer on the corner, kitty cross from the store.  And rumor has it that Reading Frenzy (one of my favorite shops in the whole world!) is just about to open the doors to their new location– just down the way from She Bop.

All this said, I am about 10 minutes away from moving there! But alas… I have a home. So I have to be content with just visiting and being content just knowing there is this beautiful pocket of good stuff in Portland.

Luckily I will be teaching there on October 9th and October 10th. I have a third presetantion, but it’s already sold out… so be sure to get them in advance so I can see your bright face!


Sex for Survivors presentations in Toronto, Portland & NYC

September 5, 2013 § Leave a comment

IMG_3307Love to see the warm lovely faces of those who show up for my Sex for Survivors presentations. I limit the available seats because I find this presentation is best when not too crowded. If you are unable to reserve a seat, here are some resources. And send me a note and ask me to book it again and let you know when it’s scheduled. I want you to have what you want. That’s just how I am. xo – Ducky

It’s happening here:

Who is a survivor?

A lot of people are survivors and maybe you want to join us too? If you have experienced violence, sexual assault or abuse, then you are a survivor. Or maybe an accident, injury, Illness, surgery, or PTSD? It could be a childhood experience or something that happened as an adult. It may have been ongoing or a one-time thing. It may have been at the hands of someone you knew casually, someone who was supposed to love you the most or perhaps it was a stranger.

Often survivors are thriving despite their emotional or physical scars. Survivors are often very proactive people. Nothing stops them. But one common obstacle many survivors face is sex and relationship issues.

Survivors have common experiences and feelings. It can be hard to know when to disclose your history with a new partner. Sometimes a person feels disconnected, foggy or alienation from your own body. Or perhaps you have feelings of being vulnerable, anxious, anger, grief, fear or distrust? Those are also normal feelings for a survivor. Others experience a low sex drive, lack of desire or lack of physical response. You are not alone.

Who is invited?

Everyone is invited. All genders, orientations, and ages. Survivors, partners and people who work in fields that support survivors.

Who is Ducky?

I am a pleasure-based sex educator. I have also spent 8 years working as a sexual assault & violence intervention counselor. Much of that time was spent in the emergency room with survivors, and in recent years I have been honored to be a part of the training team that brings new counselors into the emergency room each year. And I have survived a lot myself.

Where Am I?

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