September 5, 2012 § 9 Comments
Your pussy is perfect. Here are some tips for caring for your sweet thang.
- Pussy scent is normal. Often our lovers are very fond of our scent. But scent can mean many things. For some women the scent light and for others it is stronger. After you shower, you’ll have less scent. After you work out, you probably need a shower. Sometimes your scent will be off and lets you know you are not well and may need to see a doctor, so…
- Learn your scent. The trouble is your nose is not ergonomically positioned for you to really be able to smell your own pussy, so just touch yourself and smell your fingers. Learn to know your scent when you are healthy. This way if you ever have an infection (yeast, bacterial, sexually transmitted infection) you will have some clue about how you should smell when you are well. If your pussy smells funny or you feel burning or itching, see a doctor.
- Don’t be too clean. Your vagina is self cleaning. It’s kinda like your eyes. They keep themselves clean and if you put a bunch of soap or perfume in them, it’s not healthy. Same idea. But your outer lips need to be washed. (Read step 5.) But don’t douche internally. Douching actually washes away your natural bacteria (the good stuff that keeps you healthy) and throws off your pH balance.
- Deodorants & perfumes are toxic. Avoid putting anything with perfumes or deodorants in your pussy or on your vaginal lips. This includes soaps, feminine sprays, suppositories,wipes, tampons & pads. Always go for the scent free option. You’ll smell better in the long run if you just go simple.
- Best soap ever. The only vulva soap I would ever recommend is Splash. It’s the purest stuff out there. Primarily made of coconut oil and sea salts. Splash is free of perfumes, glycerine, glycerol, parabens, DEA, gluten, PEG, propylene glycol, sorbitol and sulfates. Not only is it awesome pussy soap, but it’s AMAZING bubble bath too. Perfect for those of us who are allergic to harsh soap and/or have a tendency toward UTIs. If you can’t afford Splash, use water and no soap at all. You will smell better using straight up water than you will using harsh bar soaps and perfumed body washes because you will not be throwing off the pH balance of your vagina. Trust me. Give water a try for 2-3 weeks and you will feel the difference.
- Uh oh, my girl smells funny. If your lover has a scent that alerts you something may be wrong, you can handle it. Remember she may not be aware of her scent. She may just not be very conscious in her body. Or sometimes her scent will change slowly and she is just not yet aware. Other times, if the issue has been going on for a while, she may have grown sort of immune to her own scent. This frequently happens when a person has an ongoing issue coupled with mental depression. So care for her. Find a positive way to present the issue. You might say, “You are so f’in sexy. But I think you may have an infection. Will you consider getting it checked out for me?” There is always a kind way to approach even the toughest subjects. Help her care for herself. We all need that sometimes.
May 6, 2012 § 2 Comments
Mouths are hot. In so many ways. But this post has had me thinking of better ways to care for one’s mouth when it comes to sex.
Understanding and having barriers available is half the battle. Then, even in a sexed up fog, you have what you need in the moment. I gave you a hot of safer oral sex option here.
But you can also cut a condom into a square for a quick and easy dental dam.
Or you can cut it up the pinky side, snip the fingers off and create a dental dam with a tongue pocket!
And if you want to use your fingers and tongue together, two quick snips up the sides makes that possible. You fingers are then inside her pussy, anchoring the dam at the bottom and then just pull the flap up and lick away!
Having safer oral sex is not the easiest thing to do. We are animals. Part of our attraction is to be able to smell and taste our lovers. It tells us how healthy they are and helps to establish compatibility.
If you still find it impossible to use barriers during oral sex, you can start by getting tested together and at the very least avoiding flossing before you see your partner. This will help keep your gums in tact and potential reduce your risks of contracting infections.
April 5, 2012 § 4 Comments
Everyone knows I am strong advocate for both awesome oral sex and safer sex. Much of the world believes oral sex is the safest sex, but the truth is that any oral, vaginal or anal sex leaves us vulnerable to infections.
I had the fortune of meeting Alan, this awesome advocate for oral health screenings. He is also a three-time survivor of oral cancer himself. He told me…
It is my belief is that there is a lot of confusion because of three somewhat contradictory facts.
- The growth in oral cancers is associated with cancers where the HPV-16 virus is evident. If caught early this cancer is highly treatable with minimal loss in speaking and swallowing abilities.
- People who have had 6 or more sexual partners (different studies talk about oral and vaginal sex partners) are 9 times more likely to get oral cancer.
- There is no link between HPV presence in the mouth and the development of a tumor within any reasonable length of time. HPV is not a pre-cancerous signal that says medical professionals have to watch the person real closely.
What does that leave you with? Well safe sex sounds nice for oral sex (condoms and dental dams/saran wrap, but as you know while many people may practice safe sex for vaginal or anal sex, they are much less likely to do so for oral.
This left me with a ridiculously simple recommendation. See your dentist and get oral cancer exams during normal check-ups even if you don’t smoke/chew tobacco, practice good dental hygiene (brushing and flossing) to make it more difficult for the virus to attach itself to the gums, if you use mouthwash, avoid alcohol based mouthwashes, and know the symptoms and if they persist see a medical professionals.
Much thanks Alan for all the light you shine on this issue. It helps everyone know know to make more informed decisions and to better care for themselves.
And know how to use barriers. It’s easier than you might think! For example, here is a dental damn. They are so thin and sultry feeling. You hardly know it’s there and it’s an easy way to protect your mouth and their vulva and anus. And check out this super cool Dental Dam Harness! It makes safer sex a little more kinky! (If you don;t have a dental dam handy, Suran Wrap is a perfectly good oral barrier. Just not as sexy to me.)
Get some of these super sexy latex gloves. Slather them with silicone lube and everyone will line up for your touch! (You think I’m kidding?)
And these flavored condoms are surprisingly tasty! Put a drop of lube inside the condom before you slide it down his shaft, this way he will feel wetness with the warmth of your mouth. Yum.
Ask your dentist for an oral cancer screening the next time you see them.
Illustration by Stu Helm.
April 3, 2012 § 6 Comments
UTI stands for Urinary Tract Infection. The urinary tract includes the urethra, bladder, the ureter tubes that connect the bladder to the kidneys and the kidneys. Almost every woman will have one at some point in her life. A UTI is usually caused by bacteria but can sometimes be caused by increased sexual activity, sexually transmitted infections (STDs), low immune system, poor diet, stress, birth defects, or surgery. Pregnant women (due to pelvic pressure) and postmenopausal women (due to hormonal changes) may be more susceptible to UTIs.
- Wear cotton underwear. Wear loose clothing rather than tight jeans or pantyhose.
- Take showers rather than baths.
- Always wipe front to back after you go to the bathroom to avoid getting bacteria from your rectum into your urethra.
- Be patient when you go to the bathroom and give yourself a chance to completely empty your bladder.
- Have foreplay in the shower, taking time to wash away any bacteria that may be on your or your partner’s hands and body. Make it a fun part of your sex play.
- Pee after sex play to flush any possible bacteria out of your urethral opening.
- Keep your genital area clean. Wash thoroughly with water. Avoid harsh soaps, glycerin soaps and douches. I recommend that if you want to use soap, use something very mild, like Celaphil liquid. It is available at any pharmacy.
- Avoid scented sprays and scented panty liners, pads or tampons.
- Drink pure cranberry juice. Avoid “juice drinks” with corn syrup and other sweeteners. Try to find pure juice, sweetened only with apple juice. Cranberries contain a tannin called proanthocyanidin, which inhibits bacteria from sticking to the bladder walls.
- Take a daily 400-milligram cranberry-extract tablet. Available at health food stores.
- Avoid spermicide. Spermicide is sometimes found on condoms or used in conjunction with diaphragms. Spermicide alters the healthy vaginal bacterial flora and can leave you more vulnerable to infections.
- Consult an herbalist to find the proper teas and herbs that make work for your body.
- Get plenty of sleep and take measures to reduce stress in your life.
- Limit sugar, starches, caffeine and alcohol.
Signs of an Infection May Include: Painful urination, frequent urination, trouble passing urine, cloudy urine, fever/chills, blood in urine and/or body aches.
Treatment: See your doctor. Follow their treatment plan. Fever, chills, blood in your urine or pain in your kidneys (your back, below your rib cage) can be signs of an advanced infection and may require more urgent care. As always, drink plenty of liquids. Follow all of the tips for prevention listed above.
Resources: Cabrini Medical Center, Health Magazine, Our Bodies, Ourselves by The Boston Women’s Health Book Collective
January 18, 2012 § 4 Comments
I just got a call from my gyno saying I’ve contracted the HPV virus. They say it’s not a huge deal, a lot of women have it and that I just need to keep an eye out to prevent cervical cancer.
I freaked out. I have no symptoms; I just got the test because it was offered. They said I’ve never been checked for it in there office because the usual blood tests don’t search for HPV. I guess I could have contracted it long ago. I thought I was getting tested for everything with each pap smear and that gave me a clean bill of health?
Am I likely to get a cancer? Warts? What can I do to keep my body healthy and not feel like it’s the end of the world?
-I Have HPV
News like this can be shocking. But take a deep breath. There are reasons why your doctor said it was not the end of the world. One of those reasons is that HPV is so wide spread that gynecologists consider it to be a “benchmark of sexual activity.” In other words they assume all humans have it. Most doctors do not bother testing for it unless you specifically ask.
HPV is so common that Planned Parenthood reports about half of all men and more than 3 out of 4 women have HPV. But most people who have HPV don’t know it. Most people will have no symptoms.
What I am saying is that – you are normal. Nice, good, kind, beautiful people get sexually transmitted infections (STIs) everyday and HPV is the most prevalent.
What do you do now? Have a pap smear done every six months for the next three years. This will check for any cell change in your cervix. If all is well after 3 years, start to go yearly. It does not sound like you have any visible warts (inside or outside). During a pap your doctor looks for internal warts. If you have them externally, you’ll feel them while you wash your vulva and will be able to see them if you look at your body with a mirror.
If warts develop, make an appointment and your doctor will remove them. This procedure takes a moment in an office visit. Internal strains of HPV are the one that have a chance of developing into cervical cancer. But if you are getting regular paps, you will see any cell change early and they can treat you.
Try not to let this drive you crazy. Find ways to be kind to yourself – call a friend, go for a walk, get a massage… Because like I said – nice, good, kind, beautiful people get sexually transmitted infections everyday. And they are still totally loveable. It all starts with you loving yourself.
Get more info from Planned Parenthood’s HPV page.
December 21, 2011 § 1 Comment
As much as I loath submitting to medical professionals… I know that if I am going to stand up in front of an audience and remind you the importance of caring for yourselves and being tested for sexually transmitted infections and all… I need to walk the walk. Just like everyone else… I have to look to other powerful women to motivate me.